What you say and what people hear are two very different things and we think we are being helpful, supportive and positive. But it can still be taken in the wrong way and if not recognized can have a dramatic impact on the other persons life.

Reactive behavior is damaging for everyone concerned. One badly spoken word can set off a catalyst of reactions and you often get into a "you did this \ I did that" conversation. Before you know it, you have forgotten what the argument was about in the first place and have gone off on a complete tangent. So never react to any behavior without having clarity of thought first, this will make you a better person overall.

Some conversations take time and cannot be resolved in one conversation. So give things and people time to absorb everything and to think about what they have said in the first place. Then revisit the conversation and keep trying until you get to a solution that you are both happy with.