Forest Superette & Bagels - 2.67/5

Store
Despite the exterior and the branded golf shirts, it's more a convenience store with a bagel section than a bagel store. A plus for beverage options, a minus for cream cheese and ambiance. Staff attentive and efficient, bagel affordable.
2.25/5

Bagel
A wild ride. Large bagel, toppings on one side. Topping ratio roughly 75% poppy, 20% salt, 2.5% garlic, 2.5% sesame. The bagels in the bin seemed to fluctuate significantly so this isn't indicative of a house special. Nevertheless, the amount of salt inadvertently struck the golden ratio of everything topping composition. Not hot, not fresh but not old. Toppings aside, Classic "value bagel" for it's size and price that lacks dynamic quality. Three-quarter points for the topping situation alone.
3.25/5

Cream Cheese
I saw the bagel preparer go to the fridge to get a new container of Philadelphia scallion cream cheese. With this in mind, here's my review on the product: Great for feeding children quickly, team building exercises and continental breakfasts. Most usually spread with a plastic knife. Sometimes comes in little capsules you can slide across tables like a quarter. Has exposed millions of Americans to the concept of cream cheese. Despite being named Philadelphia cream cheese, it was never produced in Philadelphia over it's 135 year history and was developed in Upstate New York.

The last fact is the most interesting thing about Philadelphia cream cheese. In all other respects it is virtually neutral and designed not to hurt you. I suspect you could leave it in the back window of a car for five days and still eat the crumbles to survive. The added scallions were indeed present. Ask yourself: if you need Philadelphia cream cheese to eat your bagel, do you need to eat your bagel?
2.5/5