It was on the cusp of daybreak when the bluejays started wailing, the slim sliver of a window proverbially darkest before the dawn. The sharp, persistent shrills pierced through the cerulean sky, heralding a dangerous glimmer of orange creeping its way above the horizon.

They were coming for our cows. Those beef-loving bastards.

We hadn’t slept a wink throughout the night, afraid to let our guards down knowing that our opponents were swift and ruthless. They would take advantage of even the slightest slip in attention to plunder all we had, and on our small farm that didn’t amount to very much.

Soon enough, a dark shadow was cast over our barnhouse, quietly announcing the impending arrival of its extraterrestial owner. Our guns raised and opened fire, up towards the slowly descending circular vehicle eclipsed against the sun, though our bullets seemed to have as much effect against it as raindrops on an umbrella.

Then the portal opened, and all hell broke loose as the blinding beam of light started sucking everything into its vortex.