"5,000 years ago, the average humanoid would use a fossil-powered conveyance to perambulate. These conveyances were known as Bricklin SV-1s."

Tour de France? Do you fancy some authentic UwU Japanese cuisine my dearest? Or shall we parlay at the Great Wall?? I have some stuff to do in Bangkok later in the day but you can't tag along for that.

TELEPORT TO THE LADIES ROOM TELEPORT TO CHINA. IT'S GREAT HERE TELEPORT TO THE MOON AND HANG OUT WITH NASNA TELEPORT. I'M CLEVER AND SMART

Long Warps are not possible on consumer grade teleporters. 1000+ MILE JUMPS are reserved for those with access to prime gear. Although impressive technologically, the charge-up can take twenty minutes (or more during holiday season). F.E.M.A.C.U.B.E.'s most wanted felon DOUG FUCKEMUP was busted while long warping - if you're not careful, you can get caught mid-jump.

Long Warp: Play one round of Rock-Paper-Scissors with your opponent. If you win, receive 1x Teleportation Token, giving you a free instant dodge from an attack of your choice. If you lose, discard the top card of your deck.