Its frustrating how I feel myself stuck on time while others around me keep moving and some of them so much faster than I did on this last 2 years... I keep looking back and I see a lot of my improvement such an art and financial management but still I want more, If i died today I wouldn't be satisfied something is missing and I still don't know what it is. I've feeling life like it has passed in front of me and I didn't made anything with it, I'm feeling down, a looser and that if there's a future for me that will not lead to anything and that scares me so i guess that's a reason I feelin that I'm not moving, I'm scared of what will come next and if it will be my last move. But being around this emotions isn't safe or healthy for me It brings me a lot of old emotions that were also a bad place for myself and I don't want to have them with me anymore, I already suffered enough...but i guess they're something that will live with me forever.
Even when the good things start happening such as a streak of good art, selling or even bids all that make me anxious about my next moves, that something could go wrong that something right could make the whole big difference, anxious about what if my next would sell or get a bid, and that's just ridiculous but I'm not even creating for that I'm creating for myself for my own mental health why does that affect me so much... that's not who I'm Don't let it drive you crazy, don't be weak like I am, be strong, educate yourself while you can, its never too late<3