This series explores a part of my upbringing through the lens of colourism and beauty standards. I was born to a Senegalese mother and a Lebanese father. My family waited with bated breath to find out what my skin colour would be because they believed my future depended on it. My mother's darker skin colour caused some tension in this equation because to them, being darker would be the losing hand.

This work is part of the socio-historical project CRITICIZE BY CREATING by Breezy Art.

Living in Senegal, a country of diverse ethnic groups, I witnessed how darker-skinned women are seen as less desirable, leading to the common practice of skin depigmentation, or xessal – the act of chemically breaking down melanin in the skin to appear lighter. I watched as my mother, the strongest woman in the world to me, began to succumb to this phenomenon. Many women risk their health and become dependent on these harmful products to fulfil societal expectations. But in a world where beauty standards are intricately tied to economic status, who can blame them? It is not all about vanity. It’s also about fate.

Skin lightening is a global issue, influenced by centuries-old beauty standards, often Eurocentric ones inherited from colonialism. In this game, lighter skin, straight hair, and narrower noses are the winning traits. Looking back, I see why my mother would try to shield me from the sun to ‘protect’ my lighter complexion or why she bleached her own skin. She was fighting for a certain standing in society. She wanted to belong and secure a future for both of us. The truth is, my lighter skin did grant me privileges that she never had. But while my lighter skin is seen as more desirable than darker black skin, it's still a far cry from the ultimate privilege of white skin.

The forces that push us to want to fit societal norms are old and unyielding. To reject them implies engaging in an active battle against them, and the cruelty of beauty standards. It’s a real challenge to embrace who we are, to see our worth, and to resist the world's reminders that we are not enough. However, I am comforted by the knowledge that it’s never been easier for us to reject these stringent norms, advocate for more plural definitions of beauty, and carve our own paths to self-love.

5000x3000 px Collage made in collaboration with AI.