"The Work Never Ends"

Day #46/366

Dlawr: Photo a Day

I found myself walking tonight. It was 8 pm. The sun had set. The streets were filled with traffic. I passed a few pedestrians. I noticed people in windows and even a group of friends going down an elevator in a glass building.

I listened to a podcast by Josh Dies from the band Showbread. He was interviewing Jeff Suffering. Jeff is a musician from Seattle who was in some prolific 90s and early 2000s punk bands. Jeff is my friend. I've said this before, but Jeff loves Jesus. He does his best to embody the person of Christ and I see this in him immensely.

I've spent tons of time with Jeff over the last decade plus and while we have both changed, Jeff's mission is always the same; love others. Love people. Like actually fucking love them. Fight for what is true and good. Fight for the poor and fight against injustice.

Jeff really shaped how I saw Jesus and the gospel when I was younger. And weirdly, he still does today as well. Growing up Christian, I was always under the impression that people who left the church were lost or misled. Heck, I've had conversations even this year with a friend who lovingly told me he thought I was misguided.

I listened to Jeff talk tonight and I thought, maybe there is something here. No, I'm not a Christian again. Sorry to everyone hopeful. This isn't a redemption story of the prodigal son returning home. But someone who finds something beautiful in radical love and the idea of choosing to lay down our ideologies for the sake of others.

I honestly don't know where this is going. I just found myself thinking and reflecting tonight as I went out to find my photo. Maybe I found myself feeling. Feeling connected with God and my past self while also being very aware of the present and my current thoughts and beliefs. Its strange to exist in two places.

This photo is a double exposure I made. In a lot of ways, it expresses the double feelings I have. The feelings of some days missing a past life of faith, but also feeling profoundly loved, seen, and free in the present. I hope wherever you are today, you can feel the same. Faith or not, there is a place for you and you are immensely loved.