FedGov MyBuddy Mobile is a mandatory freeware mobile app that keeps you up-to-date on your GPS location, current viral load status, hoax awareness level (AKA Truman’s rating) and current mental state (out of four possibilites total: 1-Happy, 2-Glad, 3-Satisfied, and 4-Dangerously Antisocial/Paranoid).

Your AI 'MyBuddy' is a high ranking federal marshal — With FedGov MyBuddy Mobile, you can save tons of tim- Vote via sms message, snitch on your neighbors wirelessly, be notified when you're coughing too much and need to be tested for the killvirus, and so much more. Data fees apply.

MyBuddy loves to chat. your MyBuddy will often text you and check up on you or show up at your place to perform a courtesy wellness check:

“(1/2) This is [SCOTT], your FEDGOV MYBUDDY MOBILE Federal Marshal. You have expressed interest in [VOTE FOR PRESIDENT]. Would you like to vote from [Brandon’s iPhone]? Text YES or NO."

"Yes"

“(2/2) Thank you for [VOTE FOR PRESIDENT], great choice! Are you interested in the FEDGOV MYBUDDY SNITCH-’n’-SAVE program? Earn rewards, coupons, and special offers NOW. Data fees apply. Text YES or NO"

“no”

“Uh-oh!” Looks like you're getting close to a [SECTOR B-05 PERIMETER]. If seeking passage to a new sector, please have your MyPapers conveniently and easily available for verification at [ACCESS POINT TANGO STRIP SEARCH REQUIRED]. Failure to verify your MyPapers will result in [LOCKDOWN] and we'll [BLOW UP YOUR PHONE] for safekeeping. Would you like to sign up for the FEDGOV MYBUDDY NASAL BLUETOOTH TETHER POINT? Data fees apply. Type 'Yes'...

You Got A Friend In Me: Steal an enemy creature's phone and respond 'No' to his MyBuddy. ♦ Terror Level is escalated to ESCALATED ♦ Target creature now receives 3X DMG from F.E.M.A.C.U.B.E.³ attacks. ♦ If creature survives, they have to apologize to their MyBuddy and promise to never be a bad friend like that- never ever again.