"Yo, but check this shit, funniest story ever."

Real Name: Jake Wells Height: 6'3" Weight: 230 lbs Place of Birth: Metallica's Monsters of Rock '87 Tour, North-Rhine Westphalia, Germany Motives: Talk to strangers about Germany, prog-rock, and the Illiad "Aww jeez dude I really hate to do this cuz normally I try to have at LEAST like two or three PACKS on me when I go out so I really hate to be that guy but you see I can't buy my own at the corner store 15 yards away because I couldn't work my normal shift because I sprained my ankle and I don't get paid til Tuesday so total-shot-in-the-dark-take-it-or-leave-it-no-hard-feelings: can I bum a cig? Thanks dude, you're the best... uhhh can I get a light?"

Story Time, How I Became Homeless, It Can Happen To Anyone, Let Me Tell You About My Life: Strap in. ♦ Every Hive/PinkBean/Rainbow R!ot enemy card becomes inactive for the next two (2) turns. Can't Help But Steal: When wounded, Cigarette Bum will steal HP from friendly creatures. Broken Liquor Bottle: When cornered, bad things happen. d6. ♦ 125 DMG ♦ If you roll 6, 525 DMG. Critical care.