DO NOT BUY THIS NFT!!

Do you like being woken up in the middle of the night to strange noises coming from your hardware wallet? Noises that sound like mumbled chanting in a demonic or alien language?

Well, that’s been happening to me now. Every. Single. Night. At exactly 3 AM.

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you contacted the Ledger support team to ask them why your Ledger Nano is levitating and emitting a soft, orange glow? I’ll save you the time and tell you - first they will laugh at you, and then they will hang up.

TRUST ME on this one. There are PLENTY of other NFTs out there. Go buy an Ape or an Alien or something. Literally buy ANYTHING else.

FAQ: Q: Who or what is the “Chosen One”? A: Apparently, it is whoever owns this NFT.

Q: What does that mean? A: I don’t really know. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t create this NFT. It just appeared in my wallet one day. What I DO know is that it means a bunch of bullshit, like chanting, and glowing, and weird emails about helping people with “quests” and shit like that.

Q: If it’s such a problem, why don’t you just burn it? A: Oh, brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?! Oh wait, I did. Every time I burned it, it would just show back up in my wallet. My guess is that it can’t be destroyed. The only way to get rid of it is to transfer it to someone else.

Q: Then why don’t you just transfer it to someone else? A: Because I don’t want to do that to anyone.

Q: Then why are you selling it? A: I’m not. But this NFT seems to have a mind of its own, and has put ITSELF up for sale. It seems to be seeking its new owner. Please, DO NOT BUY IT!

Q: What is the unlockable content? A: The Chosen One will gain access to the “Sacred Scrolls of the Chosen One.” It is NOT as cool as it sounds. It’s literally just a link to a Google Doc, but I guess it’s a “sacred” Google Doc, or something? Really lame.

Q: Is this an attempt at reverse psychology? Do you actually want me to buy it? A: No. I cannot stress this enough. Do NOT buy this NFT!