Sometimes we really don't know how to appreciate simple joys. For example, I am a lamp. And I can't dream because I never sleep. Instead, I find myself in a different place every time someone flicks a switch.

• What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a blue crab, redneck?

The woman in the old-fashioned dress turns away from me. Does she know that I am an unusual lamp?

There's a basket of fried chicken in front of me, or... no, hell, it's not a chicken at all. It has eyeballs inside of it.

-- Kentucky Fried Dreams is our unique product. You've never tasted anything like it. Any dream you have will become a reality. The first dream is free. Call the short number...

I see this strange inscription on the back of the basket. I don't understand what's going on. I think I have fallen into this girl's dream. The headcrab on the girl's head begins to vibrate and make noises through which the voice breaks out.

• If you look into the abyss for a long time, the abyss will look into you, but here it all depends on what expression you look with. If you look into the abyss with many eyes, do you think there will be a difference?

You know, maybe it's not such a bad thing that I don't dream...