I am a lamp. An ordinary lamp that ends up in a different place every damn time. And that makes me know a lot about people.

For example, today I was standing behind a girl's back, reading her mail with her boyfriend. What a asshole... In the relationship she tried to do everything for him, he got bored and found someone else.

Poor girl, her heart is broken. If only I could hold her now.

— Squeak. Squeak.

Out of the darkness, a jar of ice cream appears on the table. Someone's hand slowly moves it toward the girl. I don't know what kind of creature it is, but it's doing everything right! What we need right now — it's crazy music, sugar, and fast carbs.

Tears dry up in the girl's eyes, and the huge jar of ice cream is visibly empty. She texts him "Go to hell”.

Yeah baby! He doesn't deserve you. It's complicated, but I'm starting to blink like a disco ball. And now — let's dance!