What can I tell you today, dear friends? I am a lamp that turns on in a different place every time. I have seen many... different things. But it is impossible to get used to it.

Today I found myself in a child's room and saw a cute red kitten. But I was trapped with Kitty once before. And I'll never forget it.

From the back of the room came a child's laughter.

— Let's play, kid.

Oooh, what the hell did I see again? It was all right, a little girl in a pretty blue dress was playing with a kitten. But then I lit up her face. Mother of God... Please, somebody hit the light switch, get me out of here.

— Purr... Purrr

Hey kid, you got nerves of steel? How can you play and purr with that scary ghost around? Don't you care about anything at all? I wish I could be that calm. Seriously, these guys seem like real friends, but if I were a person and not a lamp, I'd definitely faint.

— Please press the light switch. Hello? Anybody?