lemme tell ya somethin: this is about cocaine. yah, u probably recogognized this fact, but u know what: cocaine ain't all glamour. yeah, when ronald reagan is teaching your elementary school ass how 2 rail a line 4 teh first tiem, it may seem pretty cool. but there is no accounting 4 all the tiem u spend thinking: "man i wish i had more cocaine".

and yaaaaah, 4 teh vast majority of ppl, they can't just hook their asses up to a constant IV of cocaine, that shit's expensive. so all of the stuff about cocaine being so cool that crystalbrain spouts is with teh caveat that you're an interdimensional god brain that can easily obtain cocaine 4 itself by being with various suppososedly trustworthy individuals.

and that's really the thing, this cocaine shit, getting it all illegally into teh country is takin' a huge toll on motherfuckers with fully automatic weapons whose business is trucking this shit around. that's why it was cool that we had our very own "cocaingel", which is an angel that gives u cocaine.

yaaah, that's cheezy postmodern shit, nah, that's cheezy postpostmodern shit if my greek sodomizing is correct, but teh fact remains that teh cocaingel was useful. we'd rearranged heaven so that every square inch of it was used for cocaine production and consumption, and we'd just have a limitless supply of marching powder. how can teh cocaingel accomplish this task.

he says that heaven is infinite, so when we tried to allocate every square inch of it to cocaine production, we quickly discovered that we were in for a problem: there were infinite square inches. and that, basically, is how we obtained an infinite supply of cocaine, we'd just have teh cocaingel come and give it 2 us.

cocaine has been said 2 be many things; addictive as fuck is one of them. u should see the nosebleeds we'd come up with just day after day of sitting in the white house getting high and talking about aristophanes's plays or something, i dunno.

crystalbrain here thinks u've sort of gotten used 2 his schtick of doin' drugs with famous presidents and such, but u have no idea how traumatic it is when they pretend 2 look for a crack pipe in ur ass :(