When sadness hits, it's all at once. And you don't cry only about your current issue, but about everything that ever made your heart heavy, even the things you thought you got over. And you're left broken hardly breathing and bitting the pillow so no one will hear your sobs. I was jealous of those who can function like a normal human, can hold friendships and relationship… they don’t feel sad for no reason everyday. The ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what it’s like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all.

Living with a mental disorder is pure confusion. It’s always like, "am I allowed to show my emotions or am I being oversensitive?"

But now, I’m less and less interested in masking my mental health in front of people anymore. My energy belongs to my recovery and my healing, not in pretending I’m okay for your comfort or your approval.

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