I literally hate pencils, and I don't remember the last time I used one, but I'm so sad/scared to write this that a pen feels too permanent. Clearly forgot I could erase. Is that a metaphor? Life feels unimaginable right now. I don't know when or how I became so unhappy. You've done so much to support me and show your love for me; thank you for everything. Our life together is so much to unpack. It already feels like an entire lifetime and it's just been a fraction of both of our stories. We can't be together anymore, Chris. It's fucking devastating. I can't imagine anything more horrible to say or feel. I will always love you and be here for you. I hope someday we can be a part of each other's lives. We've been so much together. I can't imagine any of those moments without you and I wouldn't change anything because if it's not now, we would've still ended up here. I want so much for you. I don't know if you'll have these things if we are together. I will always love you. I know there's a world where we can both release painful memories. I'll meet you there.

For Better or Worse, Karsen + Pearl