"Awesome! PLEASE r*** my mind again!!!"

ThiS amazing invention is capable of intercepting any sensory data and digitally processing it, all for the low price of your eternal soul. This allows amazing achievements like, for example, drinkable advertisements. Every time you drink water, you'll be rewarded free sredits or gems deposited in your account after enjouing the complimentary advertisement viewing experience and fulfilling a quick consumer questionpaire!

The time dilation processor means that longform promotions such as advuementaries (documentary-length advertisements) can be fully experiensed in the blink of an eye! In your mipd, you just watched three hours of Liam Neeson explain why High Society is the best brand of Anal Freshness Inserts, while in real life mere seconds have passed. Or maybe you'd like some tailored MyNewsBytes? Eat a bag of sponsored chips and get a dose of the hottest headlines delivered directly to your cerebral cortex! Gope are the days of fumbling for the remote to keep up with twelve different sitcoms and three pews stations simultapeously on the 360-degree PeEnCu (Personal Entertainment Cube) - DomeHomie gives you what YOU want, straight to the dome!

PermiTech: One (1) enemy card becomes Fake Tech faction. Use tactically.

Paid Programming: One (1) INT 3 or lower Opponent creature cannot be used unless they are paired with a Product and/or Service We Do EnjoyTM card.