My relationship with music is always changing. I picked up the guitar 10 years ago out of necessity; life was beginning to flood with new emotions and experiences, and I desperately needed an outflow. With time, songs eventually became a second language, lending me the keys to new friendships and identity within self expression. In 2018, I had all but sold my soul to the medical field for a doctorate in physical therapy when music exerted it’s force on me again, this time pulling me away from medicine and into the thicket of my creative journey. Nowadays music is my religion, and songwriting feels a lot like meditation. The creative process is both merciless and vigilant—it casts it’s light into my darkest corners. What started as an outlet has become the setting for confronting the parts of myself I fear the most.

This demo of ‘Back on the Fence’ is a testament to the power of songwriting as a spiritual guide. I have trouble following through on positive change, and I think writing this song helped me gain a sense for when I start to regress into old thought patterns and behaviors—things like self-isolation, splitting hairs over the smallest stuff, or ironically losing weeks of life at a time to the thought of eventually dying. I’m really so thankful for the opportunity to rediscover this demo and share it. Letting go of it has allowed me to honor and appreciate every step in my creative process.