"Yes, the Human Resources Department at International Megadigital is aware of our growing stray cat problem.

The cats you see roaming the halls are not your friends. Everyday they grow more feral, more cunning, more precise. They are unionizing. They are demanding medical, vision, and dental benefits. They are becoming worthy adversaries.

They are quickly infiltrating the highest levels of our organization. If you notice your supervisor beginning to demand warm milk and anchovies, this is a red flag that the executive team has been compromised. Report this right away to HR. We are distributing spray bottles of water to all rank-and-file employees for tactical defense purposes.

Although the most quick-witted cats continue to consolidate their power, we do have GOOD NEWS to report. We have managed to corral 100s of "the dumb ones" and now need a means of discarding them. Unable to find enough room on quirky Japanese islands and in cartoon junk yards to dump all of the cats, we've run low on options. Rather than resort to more grisly methods of disposal, we've decided to digitize them and give them away.

Yes, employees... for a limited time, you can now own one of the cats that were dumb enough to be caught. BUT only on the condition that you take them far away from the workplace. After you take it, we do not care if you keep it, sell it, or trade it for a Twerking Elon Musk trading card. Not our problem anymore."

-Sincerely, Lex Beachwood: Co-Executive Vice Associate of Minutiae in the Human Resources Department, International Megadigital

DUMB STRAY CATS

International Megadigital introduces its hottest product yet: INVASIVE STRAY CATS THAT WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO BE CAUGHTâ„¢.

If you've ever wanted to adopt a digital pet of below-average intelligence, then you've come to the right place because we've got 1000 of them dropping soon. Not gonna lie, they're pretty inept if they got caught this easily. They're fundamentally bad at being cats. But who cares if they're dumb because they're free.  And if these things keep breeding in the basement, then we're probably gonna have more, so watch out for new drops from the Human Resources department at @IntlMegadigital

Who would be stupid enough NOT to take one of these stupid cats that we don't want and aren't actually useful for anything?