Very few people on the planet know the true story of Lt. Col. Grenouille.

This is his $tory.

Deep in the [redacted] Province of Denstantinople, Jean Claude Van Damme had a third son he kept from the world for one reason: It was the densest baby ever born, weighing in at 74.69lbs.

He knew that if the letter agencies around the globe heard about this dense lil ting - they would undoubtedly seize him and confine him to a life inside a black-ops science lab.

JCVD couldn’t let this happen. He knew the bebe was incredibly special and destined to change the world. So JCVD did what he does best - dispense the chad energy upon the child. Van Damme would change the Childs name to protek him, teach Grenouille many forms of martial arts, advanced memenition systems, counter intelligence, kekspionage..

And of course, the classic JCVD split. But this wasn’t any ordinary split. Through their training, they figured out that Lt. Col Grenouille has the ability to split himself in two, and then again, and again. Effectively making him a one man army. And with a skeletal structure of pure tungsten, he was quite literally undefeatable. The institutions never stood a chance.

Once ready for field operations, they kept the load out as lean as possible simply because Genouille WAS the weapon. But of course had to have the essentials such as some dirty sprite, a PEPENADE, CHROMIE SQUIG-SPEC Boots, a Tungsten Starlink phone, a pre-rolled for the vibes, fake socks to stay comfy and more.