Name: Butthole Bethany
Age: 24
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 118 lbs.
Location: San Clemente, CA
Education: San Clemente High School
Profession: Influencer & Amateur Crypto Coin Financial Analyst

Butthole Bethany isn't your average talentless social media influencer. She has far more to offer than simply showing her butthole six times a day on social media to her 994,683 followers. You see, Butthole Bethany has recently become an investor in shit coins, therefore automatically making her qualified to provide financial advice.

While she always includes the hashtag #notfinancialadvice (👋 Hi SEC), she is clearly giving financial advice to the basement dwellers and virgins that follow her. Her followers that aped into the 💩 coins she suggested are down -69.69% 📉. They paid more in Uniswap fees than the actual coins they “invested” in. She is currently "all-in" on Dogecoin and every butthole post now also includes #HODL and #DOGE hashtags along with the classic "Going to the moon! 🚀🌕" tagline.

Butthole Bethany made a big mistake Aping into Dogecoin at its peak of 74 cents. She got absolutely REKT, and not in the sense you think. She is optimistic though, because the shit coin shilling self-proclaimed crypto gurus she follows say that Dogecoin will soon surpass Bitcoin and Ethereum, becoming the highest valued coin. Until that happens (it never will) she will stare at her Elon Musk poster while planning her next butthole picture masterpiece and dreaming of owning a Tesla.