1/1 The beginnings of my first ego death experience were really painful. When I felt everything start to be torn away I tried to protect myself by clinging to everything about me I thought kept me safe and successful in the world, but luckily I was no match for psychedelics and I was ultimately shattered into blissful non-existence. For someone as driven and anxious as me, the most surprising and relieving part of having the illusion of my own existence revealed was finding out that not only did I not have to worry about what I was supposed to do, I couldn’t possibly do anything but what I was supposed to do.

The universe flows like a beautiful but intense torrential river. An infinite and eternal force that connects everyone and everything and moves us all down a path that has been flowing since the beginning of time. I can try to paddle with it or paddle against it, but in the end I can relax and enjoy the ride knowing either way I’m going to end up where I’m supposed to be.