Name: MLM Molly
Age: 34
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 132 lbs.
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Education: Scottsdale Community College Dropout
Profession: Multi-Level-Marketing Pro (”Business Owner”)

MLM Molly is the slimiest creature under the sun: a multi-level-marker, or a “business owner” as she refers to herself. Well, MLM Molly has had several of these “businesses” over the years. She has jammed waist trainers, tummy wraps, protein powders, shampoo, weight loss pills, makeup, potions, and every other bullshit scam under the sun in the face of her friends and family members.

It’s always the same story, as MLM Molly pitches her friends and family on a new lucrative “business opportunity,” claiming that her “team member” is making millions of dollars. Amazingly, she bounces to the next lucrative opportunity before making a dime with the previous one.

MLM Molly caught the hustle bug after her husband’s mortgage business went under. Scottsdale, Arizona is home to more failed mortgage companies than any other area on the planet. With no more Ferrari in the driveway, MLM Molly is determined to get back to elite douchebag Scottsdale social status, even if that means having her friends and family contemplate drinking poison 💀, slicing their wrists 🔪, and blowing their brains out 🤯🔫 instead of having to listen to another multi-level-marketing scam pitch.