Steven Seagal is or was an American actor. He was born sometime between 1900 and 2000, but no one knows for sure because a Mongolian donkey lost him galloping in front of a Tibetan monastery, of all places. He has a white belt in judo and a doctorate in cream beating. Seagal became most famous for his gratuitous use of violence in his grotty movies.

Steven Seagal is best known for the mention of Kazim Agboga in his song "I don't care". There it says, "This is a whale, this is a number, look on the shelf, Steven Seagal."