"I'd like the Plus model please. The one with the yo-yo."

Manufactured By: PhozeComm Innovations Retail Price: $89,695.95 Model Name: PhozeArm Robotool-10TM Common Upgrades: Toothbrush Finger, Dick Finger Compromised By: Tantillo Systems hacktivists

The PhozeArm Robotool-10TM is the person choice of hyper-infamous pop media tech icon and technically ageless CEO of PhozeCommTM himself, Mason McClave. He was recently photographed by TMZ using his PhozeArm Robotool-10TM -rebuckling his belt outside of the Beat a Dog to Death Sports Center--which is genius because it's basically just free advertising for the new cyberarm.

Everyone on the planet and their mother wants, no, yearns for a PhozeComm PhozeArm Robotool-10TM. It is the ultimate aspirational product. Upwardly-mobile Chicoms have no choice but to sell most of their other limbs to organ brokers, so that they can afford the (after luxury tax) six-figure price tag of this novelty appendature with gamer LEDs and oddly-places NFC readers (one under the armpit and one in the crook of the elbow.

Little do World Citizens (WCs) know: the PhozeArm has a critical security weakness that the PhozeComm gadget goblins can't figure out how to patch. The Prime Minister of Cambodia was assassinated via a PhozeArm quickhack, getting brutally self-chokeslammed during a televised speech. This brought PhozeComm stock cratering down a record breaking 2% on the day it happened. If people other than sex tourists knew what Cambodia was, that number would.ve been far higher.

///YES, IT'S FLASHEY AND SICK AS FUCCKK. AND YES, IT WOULD MAKE YOU PERFECT. BUT SOMEONE MIGHT JUST USE IT AGAINST YOU ONE DAY.

Rouge Implant: I- can't br-breathe! Kill any Fake Tech or Tantillo Systems creature instantly.