Always check your candy. Always check your candy. You never know what psychos are out there in this neighborhood. I heard some teenager laced a batch of Jolly Ranchers with LSD. Now that Billy Throckmorton will never be the same.

And you don't want to know what the police found inside of those Fun Size Snickers old man Henderson was giving out couple years back. I hear he's out of the penitentiary now. You never know. Might be up to something. Restraining orders don't mean nothing in this town.

I definitely don't trust the bowl of candy the Drabblers leave out, right on their porch. Some deviant could replace all the Tootsie Rolls with plastic explosives, and no one would be the wiser. Not until morning anyway.

Better to safe then sorry. Should only eat what makes yourself. Come here child. Have one of Grandma's homemade candy apples. I know every ingredient that went into these. I even picked the apples from the back yard. They're extra juicy this season.