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The Chocolate Starfish of Staten Island

The true origin story of the Chocolate Starfish is unknown.

According to oral tradition, a young boy named Pete Davidson visited an exotic pet store in Staten Island around the end of 2000.

He brought home a baby starfish and proceeded to feed it hot pockets, Totinos pizza rolls and heavy clouds of weed smoke.

Thinking the starfish had died, young Pete flushed it down the toilet. This abused and somewhat high starfish did not die, but he flourished in the sewers of America’s garbage dump.

Although they are mentally stuck in the year 2000, these wild boys can be seen vibing, listening to Limp Bizkit and fighting their sworn enemies - the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All hail Pete Davidson.

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