Jonathan from 2009 says, "I enlisted the lip-dub and acting chops of my friends down at the East Bay Express, the local alt-weekly here in the East Bay. Yay!"

Newspapers across this country are dying Look at Seattle, look at Denver It’s like a plague And unless we think of something to do to stop it from spreading It’s gonna wipe us out like a great big tidal wave Oh no! Oh, a tidal wave Oh no! An internet tidal wave Oh no! A blogger blogger tidal wave Yikes! In an age of digital ubiquity Where you can get the news any time for free Is there any room for dinosaurs like us? Journalists, are we already extinct? We’ve got to think of something to keep this paper alive At this point we’ll try anything We’ve got to survive Idea! Selling marijuana when California legalizes Idea! Holding weekly raffles and giving out tons of prizes Idea! We could start to offer businesses good reviews on Yelp Idea! We could just start a prostitution ring and sell ourselves What about short selling stocks? Why don’t we try Fort Knox? Let’s make green technology! Let’s rob a bank! I’ve got it! It’s perfect! You wanna hear it? Yes, just tell us already! Boobs, boobs If you wanna compete with the internet You gotta start thinking like them It’s been tested, it’s been proven Boobs alone will get the traffic moving So repeat after me Boobs on the front page Boobs on the blog Boobs in the classified Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs Boobs on the front page Boobs on the blog Boobs in the classified Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs What’s gonna save the newspapers? The answer is boobs!