"shows"

i've played a lot of shows. i loved dj'ing so much that, when i found out about a party someone at school would be having, i would wiggle my way in to dj the party. before i was playing shows, i would spend hours and hours alone in my bedroom mixing on virtual dj, exporting the mixes, and putting them on mixcloud or soundcloud as a way to get closer to playing shows when they weren't yet accessible. i remember when i was a freshman in high school, my friend and i convinced this local after-school club to let us play a show (they had a sound system and a stage and everything already and could probably fit 100-200 people), and nobody came. for maybe two three minutes, a small group of the popular dudes showed up, they watched us while laughing, and then left

my relationship with shows have changed a lot over time, but this piece serves as just a sliver of my timeline as a performer, back when i wanted nothing more than to play music in front of an audience. it took a long time for me to even build up the courage to play mostly my own music, but even prior to that, playing music was thrilling. didn't have to be my music, just music that i loved and thought would make the crowd move

the song playing is "midnight" - a rare song of mine that came out exclusively on bandcamp on january 17th 2014