My last shoot in Lapland of the winter 2022/23.

I had just hiked on top of a fell in Saariselkä, Finland.

I was looking for compositions I needed for an important photograph I wanted to make.

I kept looking. I walked around. Tried out compositions with my phone so that I didn’t need to freeze my hands.

I felt confused.

I couldn’t find a way to make my idea work.

The sun was just about to set.

I knew my time was about to run out.

I noticed the familiar road when watching down from the fell.

I shot it in 2018. And have driven many times past it since.

In 2018 I liked the photograph. But I was unable to see the fell behind it. It was all fogged up.

But now - there was no fog.

And there was something additional: snow.

I made the decision...

Soon I arrived back at the car.

I fast threw all my stuff into the car and hopped in.

The sun had set. But there were nice colours in the sky.

I thought... “maybe they'd look good in the photograph.”

I knew where to park the car. From the time I was there in 2018 with my dad.

I parked it. Jumped out. Put my headlamp on. And ran to my spot along the side of the icy road.

I tried out many compositions. Some with more foreground - some with less...

I was struggling. The photos didn't look like how I wanted.

The colours had gone by now. And it was about to be dark.

But when the dark arrives - so do the stars...

So I thought maybe it even works better.

I kept experimenting. And being careful to listen to upcoming cars that this won't be my last photoshoot.

After some time... I had lots of different versions. I felt I had got the shot. I felt relieved.

I was finished there. I was about to wrap my last shoot up.

And so I walked back to my car. But I looked up as I thought I had seen something move…

The Northern Lights.

I wished I had seen them on one of these few days I had at North with my grandma.

And now on the last night... I saw them.

They were dancing on top of me.

It was just me. Nobody else (until some German tourists came to admire them too.)

The only downside was... my toes were really frozen.

I didn't realize it when I was shooting and running around being excited.

But when I had calmed down - back at the car - ready to drive home... I got afraid.

I had over a 40-minute drive back.

I barely could feel my toes anymore.

I had had many close calls during the years.

I thought... “is now the time when the cold gets me?”.

I started driving. The drive felt longer than ever before.

I had all the warming on in the car. But nothing seemed to help.

I just had to be patient.

After 40+ minutes - I arrived back where my grandma was waiting for me.

I took my socks off being afraid.

But my toes ended up making it.

The last night was worth it.

Back home

I started editing the road photograph. I enjoyed how it looked like... but I agreed with myself something I thought back at the road in Finnish Lapland...

The sky lacked something.

It felt... empty.

That's why I took different kinds of photographs.

I took some imagining if there was a moon. Because I wanted it to be possible for there to be the moon.

But how the location turns out - you can't have the moon at this spot (according to my knowledge).

But I wanted it there. I had “seen” how beautiful this scene would look with a moon there.

And so I went - and I edited the rest of the image. And tried out how a moon would work there.

And it worked just like I planned it to.

It was illuminating the road. And the fell below it. Just like I had imagined it in my mind.

I enhanced the stars to be like how they’d normally appear (I used a telephoto so they didn’t come out as I wanted).

When looking at the photograph, I feel peace. I feel relieved. I feel happy. All those emotions I felt at the location.

Maybe it's just me. As I know how much in pain I was.

But the photograph speaks to me a lot. I'm not sure why. But... it feels it somehow heals me inside.

The photograph looks just like how I imagined Finnish Lapland to be as a child. Before I had visited it many times.

Maybe it's speaking to that little me. Or then to the little older me who went through difficult times getting bullied. Or maybe it's healing the person I am now. My own struggles I've gone through the last couple of years. And in this year.

I don't know yet. Maybe time will tell.

What is Lapland's magic? Is it the beauty of nature? Or could it also be its ability to heal people?

I don't know. But the photograph heals me. Makes me feel good. And I hope it does the same to you.

Season: 1
Art: 4