From 2004-2012, I rarely used, and didn’t own, a camera, not even on a cell phone (nor did I own a phone). That’s not remarkable by itself, but it is just a bit strange, considering that I was a professional photographer for several years previously, as well as an obsessive, even compulsive, full-time photographer, since I was 14. David LaChapelle once said to me, at a party, after seeing my photographs, “Wow. You really are good,” which was a short but wonderful compliment, from the highest paid photographer in the world; made all the more real by the fact that his voice dropped and the joy leaving his face when he said it. Photographers can be weird, and I’m no different. Now, the act of holding a camera feels like a reunion with my first love. I want to believe that everyone else may have her, but she is thinking of me. I was her first, her true love by which all other lovers will be measured. “There is no great love without great jealousy” - Bender Rodriguez

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