Artist's Statement:

I've been wearing a big, baggy, grey t-shirt that says "RAP MUSIC MAKES ME FEEL INVINCIBLE" in bold, black letters for 20 years, that I originally got on Etsy. It's wearing thin from so many washings & is practically see-through, so I went on Etsy to order another a few months ago, only to find the original shop is long gone. So instead, I just made my own, featuring a self-portrait based on a selfie I took in my bathroom mirror before going to Starbucks by myself for the 1st time.

I'm agoraphobic and have an anxiety disorder, so when I have to be out in the world by myself, I like to have the bravado of rappers behind me, so I almost always have my headphones on, a trick my friend Ana taught me (except she listens to Billie Eillish & Erika Badhu). My tastes definitely lean more towards the "gold school" era of rap. I don't usually like deep, philosophical, or even technically good rap music by current standards probably, I just like happy party & fight songs & that one song about Jay-Z's mom being a lesbian. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (I'm being cheeky, but it's still sweet that he did it & he's still my 2nd favourite hip hop artist behind Cypress Hill. Judge away, music snobs!)

I didn't even realize how essential rap was to my "elder millennial" life until I started dating a baby boomer whose primary musical interests are in the singer-songwriter genre. After a long weekend of JUST that, I came home and basked in the refreshing glory of the Beastie Boys, Wu-Tang, and Kanye, soaking them up like sunshine on a warm, spring day, savouring Missy Elliott and Eminem like creme brule, and sharing fine cannabis with Snoop and Dr. Dre. That's when I realized that rap, or hip hop, or whatever, really is - undeniably - the music of my generation, whether you happen to like rap or not. My parents and grandparents had rock, and my generation has rap. Maybe that's obvious to a lot of people, but it wasn't immediately apparent to me until I started dating someone 17 years older. 🤷🏼‍♀️

What's also interesting to me, is that my two previous relationships, both generation Xers, had a worse relationship to rap music than my current boomer relationship. In my previous relationships, I was made fun of and judged for listening to rap, whereas the boomer boyfriend tolerates rap quite well, and even engages with it. One of my previous partners even recently admitted that he changed the lyrics to "Baby's Got Back", in his head when I listened to it, to "Sunny's not black". 🙄😒 I'm not sure what makes the boomer boyfriend more tolerant, and maybe even a bit appreciative, of rap music over the gen Xers because I would think it would be the opposite. All my theories have been shot to hell. I thought maybe the fact my boomer boyfriend was a musician might be a factor, but so was one of my previous, gen X relationships, so that theory won't hold water. Whatever the reason, I find the disparity fascinating!

About The Work

"Rap Music Makes Me Feel Invincible" is a self-portrait by Sunny Crittenden and was created in the winter of 2022 using Procreate, mostly at The Domes, in Barrie, Ontario, Canada.