4
By R_Hakim
By R_Hakim
‘Hari Lahir’ | Jpeg | 2021 | 3543 x 4724 px
Over the years, birthdays have been the hardest for me. Feelings of abandonment; empty, false self image, extreme mood swings, difficulty loving myself, to the urge to commit suicide are some of the symptoms that I experience everyday, and peak on every birthday. During that time, I never understood and had no answer to my mental condition.
Until finally at the end of 2020, I had the courage - and the privilege - to be able to come to therapy. Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), it feels like the best gift for me -after all these years- I finally have a little shed light on what is happening to me. Of course, BPD and OCD are not a justification for many of my past or present troublesome behavior.
This work is a love letter to me, after years of hating my own work, BPD is making it difficult for me to be happy with my accomplishments. No matter how much appreciation I receive, there will always be a way for me to hate my work, and to hate myself in the end.
This confession is one way for me to heal, apart from routine therapy. Recognizing that this condition exists, even as early as adolescence. There is no definite estimate of when I will recover, but what I do know, I am already on the road to a recovery process
"The life of a person who goes up and down, is uncertain" is another meaning of "Yang Rebah Bangun, Karena Terinjak". Summarizes the many things that have happened during my nearly eleven years as a self-taught artist. The collection of visual works here are stories of how I see the path of my journey as an artist who has never been on a flat and straight path. It is boring to hear about someone's struggles when they become an artist, such as the love and heartbreak pop songs that are repeated over and over again. This is also a question for myself, until when to make works that are always about self-internalization? How about a work in the form of social commentary? Does the work I create have a place and function for society? Or is it just an artist's creative masturbation? These questions are part of my work journey. Intertwined with the inability to identify self-image, low self-esteem, to the urge to commit suicide. An extreme ride like a roller coaster.
Contract Address0x495f...7b5e
Token ID
Token StandardERC-1155
ChainEthereum
MetadataCentralized
Creator Earnings
Hari Lahir - “Birthday”
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trevorjonesart
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Hari Lahir - “Birthday”
Owned by
trevorjonesart
4
visibility
359 views- PriceUSD PriceQuantityExpirationFrom
- PriceUSD PriceQuantityFloor DifferenceExpirationFrom
By R_Hakim
By R_Hakim
‘Hari Lahir’ | Jpeg | 2021 | 3543 x 4724 px
Over the years, birthdays have been the hardest for me. Feelings of abandonment; empty, false self image, extreme mood swings, difficulty loving myself, to the urge to commit suicide are some of the symptoms that I experience everyday, and peak on every birthday. During that time, I never understood and had no answer to my mental condition.
Until finally at the end of 2020, I had the courage - and the privilege - to be able to come to therapy. Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), it feels like the best gift for me -after all these years- I finally have a little shed light on what is happening to me. Of course, BPD and OCD are not a justification for many of my past or present troublesome behavior.
This work is a love letter to me, after years of hating my own work, BPD is making it difficult for me to be happy with my accomplishments. No matter how much appreciation I receive, there will always be a way for me to hate my work, and to hate myself in the end.
This confession is one way for me to heal, apart from routine therapy. Recognizing that this condition exists, even as early as adolescence. There is no definite estimate of when I will recover, but what I do know, I am already on the road to a recovery process
"The life of a person who goes up and down, is uncertain" is another meaning of "Yang Rebah Bangun, Karena Terinjak". Summarizes the many things that have happened during my nearly eleven years as a self-taught artist. The collection of visual works here are stories of how I see the path of my journey as an artist who has never been on a flat and straight path. It is boring to hear about someone's struggles when they become an artist, such as the love and heartbreak pop songs that are repeated over and over again. This is also a question for myself, until when to make works that are always about self-internalization? How about a work in the form of social commentary? Does the work I create have a place and function for society? Or is it just an artist's creative masturbation? These questions are part of my work journey. Intertwined with the inability to identify self-image, low self-esteem, to the urge to commit suicide. An extreme ride like a roller coaster.
Contract Address0x495f...7b5e
Token ID
Token StandardERC-1155
ChainEthereum
MetadataCentralized
Creator Earnings
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