NFT Diaries, Day 26, GN:GN

So I woke up this lovely morning, a new man at best. After spending the last 72 hours scouring the interwebs, it seems I can finally rest. I set up my first wallet, I’m wicked pumped to say. Now let me share this tale, it’s about NFT Groundhog Day.

I contacted customer support bc my ETH isn’t showing up in my Metamarsk. I must have put at least 69 dollar bills in my CD/DVD drive at this point, but I simply have no idea where to put the gas. Can you help?

I am a grown ass man that spends his days “in chat rooms”, the wife says, perhaps I’m just a dud. Clearly if she was a cartoon character, I’d call her Elmera FUD. I am at my ath when I’m in front of my dual screens, I’m d-ing m o r, as they say. I’ve got my own keys AND I’ve got my own coins, so fret not, sweet bay. These jpegs are all probably nothing, she’s certain, but truly I am torn. I show her how cool Easter eggs are, that they're worth our life savings. I just don't know how I'll pay for groceries, perhaps sell my first born? I’m something, I’m GMI, I tell myself, while watching GWEI get gobbled up by miners like eggs by Yoshi. F kyc while eating KFC and hodling BTC, or is it XBT? I’ll ask Satoshi.

The fomo on these NFTs makes me shitcoin in my undies. And to think in just 5 short days I’ve traded places with Al Bundy! Work-life balance was, meh, cool, and romance was bliss, but worry, I shant…why? Bc we’re so early in this. I burnt stacks of paper in the fire as it crumbled and fell to ash. I'm saving the carbon to make diamonds to rub on my hands, it's better than paper cash.

In a bubble, some say we are, and for sure this will pop. Well, poo-poo to all the haters, I d/l’d an e-learning to photo shop. Now just wait till I master coding and I’ll GAN pfp’s to score. My project is called The SolAdaallyoETH CryptoManBearPunks, it’s what’s in (I reddit on tor). It’s bpd and I’m watching NBC hearing talk about the cdbc, waiting patiently to btfd and capitulate the LPs. All my XTZ is supposedly being airdropped to me, but wen? I got a DM from MisterAlpha, saying “Extra Meka Mints For You, Fren, It’s Free.” I just clicked a simple link, made especially for me. Then UP popped a window, so of course I smashed “CONNECT”…I entered my pin with a grin while reading ,”Don’t Worry, Extra Meka Mints For You, My Frens, Are Free,” and now, I’m rekt. "It's Dinner Time," she yells from upstairs, "don't make this into a fight." I sigh and bring my computer with me, it's time to say GN.