They just fired me from my Marketing Associate position in International Megadigital's Bootleg Product Division. So let me tell you the truth about these Punks... At first, upper management was like, "Let's bootleg some CryptoPunks, easy money in the bank, right?" So it was my job to get one of the interns to knock off like 10,000 of these, easy peasy.

At that point, I'm already counting the bonus I'm gonna make on this... I'm thinking, "I'm finally gonna be able to replace my pet wolf with a cooler new one." But then, I start reviewing the interns' work, and you know how wires get crossed when the human employees start getting involved.

I see what they made, and these punks look ALL jacked up. Like all 10,000 of them. And I'm thinking we can't sell this stuff.

So I go to the lead designer and say: "WTF is all this... How are these ALL wrong? Go rip me off some punks that I can use." And all he could say back to me was, "I want to see my wife!!!"

And that's what got me really salty because I'm like, "We've been over this a million times. Yes, I know where your wife is, but no I'm not giving you her coordinates until crunch time is over."

No loyalty. Who's in charge of hiring in this department???? Anyway, I had to show the bosses something. So upper management basically said, "They're good enough." Cool, but then fired me right before I was eligible for my bonus. So there goes my new wolf.

Sincerely, Lotus Sakura: Former Associate of Marketing for Bootleg Products - International Megadigital

NEW MEGADITIAL PUNK-LIKE PRODUCTS

When the dollar is devalued, the Elites will be trading their Official CryptoPunks and CyberKongz for the heating supplies and canned meat we will need to get through the climate-change induced, ice-age-like winters. You -- with only worthless fiat dollars in hand -- will offer an honest day's work for just one measly BitBird, but you will get no offers because you know the truth...

Only the rich will have secured the means to acquire the Punks necessary for survival in our new post-apocalyptic landscape where Twerking Elon Musk MoonCat Punks are traded for gasoline.

Seeing an opportunity to cash in on your future desperation, International Megadigital has released a set of GENERIC STORE-BRAND PUNKS. They are totally unaffiliated with Larva Labs. Nevertheless, they are just punky enough to fool the roving merchants in the wasteland to trade them to you for fresh water and matches (while we all avoid trademark infringement along the way).

Please thank us for our largess and forward thinking. Limit 1000 per customer.