Is Jesus, Satoshi Nakamoto? According to the a recent report from Coindersk, the Son of God may be the Father of Crypto. Anonymous sources from inside the heavenly kingdom have been quoted saying, "think about it bro. Have you ever seen Satoshi and Jesus in the same room? Whoa, actually, I mean, have you ever actually seen either of them, like ever? Unreal man."

Residents of Rio de Janiero have already modified the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue to reflect this shocking revelation.