Look into my eyes… Keep calm, and listen to my soothing voice. Coronavirus does not exist. I command you to tell the news media and other humans that Coronavirus is a hoax, and that us bats are the friendliest and cuddliest creatures on Earth. We make the best pets you can ever imagine. You will also fetch me a variety of fresh fruits daily from the local farmer’s market. Oh, and one more thing… can I get a belly rub?